Neil was right: "Rock and Roll Can Never Die."

“Rock is Alive and Kicking Again.” “The Saviors of Rock.” “Rock and Roll is Dead.” This is the type of shit you see emblazoned across glossy magazines (this piece is like four years too late probably I don’t look at Spin anymore luckily.) And it’s bullshit; either rock is alive and kicking now and always has been or it’s been dead since the first notes were played on an electric guitar. There are just as many good bands out there today as there were 15,20, even 30 years ago, and tons are better than the White Stripes and Coldplay and whoever else is the best band in the world by Rolling Stones’ standards; you just gotta go look for them. So why was rock and roll deemed dead? And who the fuck gave that asshole that deemed it so the right to do that? Is rock dead because rap/hip-hop took over big time in the mainstream? When was the mainstream ever the way to measure quality/quantity of rock and roll/music? (Goddamn that was a lot of questions in a row.) Never; that’s the answer to question number four. Just because you and your little sister now like one band in common does not mean that you should rejoice because rock and roll is alive. Instead you should weep; when was the last time your sister liked something cool? Never I’m betting. Short of the sixties when the scene – for lack of a better word; oh how I hate it – was bubbling with way too much talent, the mainstream is never the measure for quality; of course there are always some tight acts in the ‘stream to look out for. But who cares if millions know about a band? In fact I may be an indie elitist pig, but I prefer for every cheerleader and Paris Hilton wannabe to not cop a band I like (not that I’ll disown said band if it happens.) But besides bands that have been around since the dawn of time (i.e. the Beatles, the Stones, who’s marketing has worked wonder for them in that department. That huge lips and tongue logo is everyfuckingwhere and once you get everywhere it’s easy to become accepted by Barbie) what cool bands are liked by your mom? Sure she likes Dylan probably and has a couple Neil Young records and listens to Sabbath occasionally (actually if your mom listens to Iommi and the boys give her my number, I’d like to burn one with her.) But she grew up with that shit; so it’ll be like when your kids are stealing your records and they see all those Queens of the Stone Age and Radiohead album they’re gonna go “Oh shit my dad was cool.” But when they see those Nickleback cds you hide away now, their eyes are gonna roll and “Never mind” will never be spoken faster. It’ll be just like when I found those Yes and Emerson Lake and Palmer albums in my dad’s otherwise cool collection. Where was this going? Oh yeah…If rock and roll only needs one band to save it, then kill that son of a bitch. If that band is the Strokes or the Vines or the Datsuns (see what I mean about way too late in time where are those bands now?) then give me the motherfucking gun.